Weight loss plan

Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking about what kind of weight loss plan I want to follow. The 4 Day Win is helping to teach me strategies on how to stop eating for emotional reasons, but I still feel like I need some sort of plan to follow in order to be successful.

One thing that has me thinking is the idea that the way I deal with my finances is similar to the way I deal with my weight. Both subjects involve unconscious behaviour, both can be out of control and both relate to my emotions.

Three months ago I started a new budget plan that has been successful so far. I took a minute to note what was successful with my budget and came up with:

- I made a budget plan that is realistic and reasonable
- I recognized two weak spots and dealt with them right away, they were 1) get the credit cards out of my wallet so I can't purchase things on impulse and 2) always have a list when I go out and only buy what is on the list and nothing else
- I set up a blog about my finances (I'll link it another time) and have been honest about all entries. This helps keep me honest in daily spending, I know I have to report it so I keep myself in check.
- and I saw results almost immediately. I had set the budget up that if there is any money not budgeted or in excess of what I budgeted then it goes into the savings account immediately. That way I can see the savings build, literally by the penny.

So if all this worked for my budget...would it work for my weight? The single most successful thing I've done to lose weight in the past (successful? but I've gained weight since and never kept it off...anyway, I was able to lose weight) is concentrate on only eating for hunger. This concept was first introduced to me in 1995 with my family's Chubby Club. When I started I would ask myself if I was hungry before I ate. Every single time. And it worked. I lost 40 lbs without any major stress. I would just remind myself that eating is only for when I'm hungry and I would do my best to eat only what I was hungry for. But then I got pregnant and wasn't able to eat very well (I was sick every day of the pregnancy) and then my gall bladder came out nine months after the baby was born. Without the gall bladder I found food didn't hurt and I forgot to make sure I was actually hungry with each mouthful.

Then my ex left and I ate only when I was hungry. I lost 10 lbs without even thinking about it. I remember wondering why my underwear was so big - did it stretch in the laundry? - and why my bra had baggy cups. I weighed myself and found I'd lost weight without intending to. I was happier with my ex gone and had no reason to eat my emotions.

Ok, here we are now. I weigh 146 lbs which is close to what I'd weighed when my ex left. My heaviest was 169 lbs at Christmas '07, so I've lost a total of 23 lbs so far. That's excellent to me :) But I still want to get past this unconscious emotional eating thing. I'm tired of remembering after I eat to eat only when I'm hungry.

What I've come up with so far is to continue with mediation every day. Keep my head as level as I can. Also, I have been remembering to go to the place of the Watcher right before I eat. Sort of like saying Grace first. That way I can focus on what I'm putting in my mouth and how full I feel with each bite.

As a side note: I did the Watcher this morning with breakfast and felt almost full and satisfied after one packet of oatmeal and a half an apple. Then I went out to run errands and ate at Tim Horton's. I was starting to get really hungry but I knew not to order a whole whack of food. Instead I ordered one of their new snack wraps and a water. I ate the snack wrap while practicing being the Watcher. No problem. But as soon as I was done I craved more food! I wasn't hungry, but I wanted to eat more! I ate in my car because the restaurant was busy, but I knew if I'd been in the restaurant I'd've ordered some donuts or cookies. So why did I feel like eating after I was done eating? Every time I licked my lips I could taste the salt and the water quenched my thirst but not my craving to eat. It was so odd. I went on the rest of my errands and constantly thought about eating. My last stop was Safeway for milk and I sought out the Cadbury mini creme eggs and bought a big bag. When I got home I had six of them. Without being the Watcher or paying attention to how they make me feel. And now the craving to eat is gone. So, why didn't I want to eat after the oatmeal and apple? Why only after Tim Horton's? This is something I definitely need to keep an eye on.

Anyway, I will do my best to remember to be the Watcher every time I eat. That way I'm eating consciously and I'm questioning whether or not I'm hungry with each bite. This has worked before, but I didn't keep it up. I will also continue with meditation every day to teach my body that I will not hurt it and instead nurture it. That way my body will behave less like prey around my preditor brain.

I understand now that there is no temporary diet solution, it is a permanent battle (?) that I'm going to have to face. It's not like when I quit smoking and I was able to stay out of places that were smoking (everywhere is non-smoking now, I love that!) in order to help deal with the cravings. I have to eat. I must keep my body running. So I must be mindful every day, every time I eat, for the rest of my life so I don't become morbidly obese. Again.